Are You Kidding Me?

When consumers see or hear an advertisement, whether it’s on the Internet, or television, or anywhere else, federal law says that ad must be truthful, not misleading, and, when appropriate, backed by scientific evidence (Federal Trade Commission: Protecting America’s Consumers). Like most other federal laws trying to police behavior of people whose intentions are clearly bad, those protecting consumers have been and remain largely impotent and the inescapable blight of social media and its purveyors has made our lives worse. There is no good here.

Plus size actor sniffing pits of anorexic on subway; goodbye gush fears; and whole body deodorant^[1]For pits that stink and everywhere else too.

Only pay for what you need.^[2]Ed: Did they formerly charge for what you don’t need? Who would people pay for what they don’t need? Me: I know.

Same great rates for everybody.^[3]Why are they great rates? Because they say they are great rates. They may be the same bad rates or worse than those they always gave to everybody, but now they are lying to try sell them as great … Continue reading

At a staff meeting, Mona waits anxiously to see who will be promoted to the new senior vice president position within the company. When she sees an email that Mike is the one getting the promotion, her face drops. She feigns a congratulatory smile until she feels her phone vibrate suddenly. Looking down, Mona sees a notification from the #1 (based on one month’s Total Visit) job site in the world, telling her she has an interview request for senior vice president at another company. This isn’t the first time Claire’s been passed up for a promotion, but it will be the last.^[4]Ed: Maybe/Maybe Not Me: Exactly

Food prices are going up. It’s good to have strong demand otherwise people would not have money to consume.^[5]Ed: I don’t get this. Me: I know.

My 3:10. No exit in sight.
Right hand clutching the steering wheel of the car she is driving obviously chockablock in traffic; left hand to forehead and face in agony; Serena reaches for a pack of Ubrelvy (the anytime anywhere migraine medication) and the show goes on.^[6]Ed: Why is she hawking products? Doesn’t she have enough money and fame? Me: I know.

Fed meeting again to discuss interest rates.
DC politicos embroiled in Daylight Savings Time debate.^[7]Ed: And, who cares, the talk like all before and all to come will likely not solve, correct, or change anything. Me: Yup.

Actual client reviews…^[8]Think about it…

Kids that grow up with dads grow up smarter and more successful.^[9]Ed: Say anything. Nobody cares. Everybody knows everybody lies. Me: Exactly.

“Back in the day,” Ron Popeil and his direct response marketing company, Ronco, were everywhere on late night and other television selling, among other products, the Chop-O-Matic hand food processor (“the greatest kitchen appliance ever made…”), the Veg-O-Matic, the Ronco Pocket Fisherman, the Giant Dehydrator and Beef Jerky Machine, Electric Pasta Maker and Showtime Rotisserie and BBQ, and “The Babes are Back!” canned hair. Today, just a few years after his passing, prime time television is overcome by selling and the lies are bigger, louder, and prouder than ever before; and there appears no relief in the golden age of social media and internet marketing.