Thanks for Nothing

I often wonder if it wouldn’t be helpful to stand behind some people and shout “liar” and their names…Give some people a microphone or “ad copy” to speak and they will think they have something important to say.

Corporate Blustering

Mercedes promoting a new “high-tech, AI” self-updating system that puts a world of entertain options at you fingertips, like adjusting the volume on your radio.
ZipRecruiter promoting that 4 out of 5 users get a qualified candidate within a day. ^[1]Shouldn’t the system provide a qualified candidate in seconds?

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Deluder

If you are here in three years, we guarantee you will be paid.
Weather accurate within 3 degrees.^[2]Are you kidding? What good is promoting this?
He was everybody’s best friend…at least that was what everybody wanted to believe.

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Pointless

Don’t take TEZPIRE if you are allergic to it.
We will front the cost of getting your house ready.
Stop taking [insert name of any television-advertised drug or supplement] if serious side effects occur.

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Pointless Predictions

He’s going to continue to grow in leaps and bounds.
If we run the football, we will win more games.^[3]If you score more points than the other team, you will win all your games.
I really think we are going to be good in two or three years.

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Caveat Emptor

Pay almost nothing for covered auto repairs.^[4]Think about it.
Your data is your data. Your data is not our product. [Salesforce]^[5]Ya been warned…
New and existing customers are treated the same.^[6]Think about it.

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Emptor Caveat

He has the skillset necessary to inspire the locker room and to be a difference maker in the NFL.

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Bits

If you don’t know where you are going, you won’t know where you are when you get there.
He is growing up right before our eyes.
How loud you shout or how soft you whisper some will not hear or listen.
No matter how loud you scream or how soft you whisper, I may choose not to listen or hear…
Ma man just went household.
He don’t believe in nothin’
Writing is writing and words are words; and, always remember this: Numbers is numbers, two.
Word Play: Trizzle means trying to rain and trow means trying to snow. Floster is a flawed roster. Forfallen means for as long as snow has fallen (i.e., forever).
Nothing is more powerful in talk than words that confirm the biases.^[7]Ed: You are so right! Me: I know
Life in Chicago was bad, but it was much better than it was in Mississippi in the Wallace and lynching years.

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Where Did We Go Wrong?

Underwear Ad: Santa’s Not The Only One With A Sack

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How

…did Creator on TicTok become a job?
…did Social Media Manager become a job?
…did Analytics Expert become a job?
…did Lactation Expert become a job?
…did Brand Ambassador become a job?

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Hopeless

…demanding action and expecting politicians and the powerful to make it happen.^[8]Ed: That’s funny! Me: I know.

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Worthless

Awareness Days, Months, and Years
Academy Awards
Blue Ribbon Panels
Presidential Promises
Prolonged Discussion
Congressional Sanctions and Warnings

The best time to take vitamins really depends on the type of vitamin you’re taking. Some vitamins should be taken in the morning for maximum absorption. Others, especially those that promote relaxation, are best taken before you go to bed.

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Mindless

Former players talking endlessly about good ol’ days and promoting their latest money-grab.

Just talking about your past is not enough.

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Feckless

I have wasted my life…beauty has always existed, and I didn’t notice it.

There was a time that I believed that we are given a certain number of words at birth and that we died when we used them up. For most of my life I was quiet in the company of others and always angered by the word wasting of others.

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