Drug Ads
Watching television with the sound off, I am frequently depressed by the number of advertisements there are for prescription and non-prescription products and disheartened seeing the side-effects “warnings” that often get more air-time than other parts of the message. I also wonder how much the drug lords pay for the names assigned to this stuff but find comfort in knowing that some can make a living from it, and I can turn the noise into mindless activities.
Side Effects
The most common side effects when used alone include: feeling tired; rash; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; itchy skin; diarrhea; nausea; weakness; cough; vomiting; shortness of breath; constipation; decreased appetite; back pain; upper respiratory tract infection; fever; headache; and stomach-area (abdominal) pain.
The most common side effects when used in combination include: feeling tired; diarrhea; rash; itching; nausea; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; fever; cough; decreased appetite; vomiting; stomach-area (abdominal) pain; shortness of breath; upper respiratory tract infection; headache; low thyroid hormone levels (hypothyroidism); decreased weight; and dizziness.
The most common side effects of other stuff when used alone include: feeling tired; diarrhea; nausea; itching; rash; vomiting; headache; weight loss; fever; decreased appetite; and difficulty falling or staying asleep.
The most common side effects when used in combination and with other therapy include: feeling tired; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; nausea; diarrhea; rash; decreased appetite; constipation; and itching.
The most common side effects when used with another drug include: diarrhea; feeling tired or weak; liver problems; rash, redness, pain, swelling or blisters on the palms of your hands or soles of your feet; mouth sores; rash; high blood pressure; low thyroid hormone levels; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; decreased appetite; nausea; change in the sense of taste; stomach-area (abdominal) pain; cough; upper respiratory tract infection.
nota bene: These are for one drug and not all the possible side effects for it, but no worries—there is a pill, prescription, and/or patch for all of them.
Names
A favorite graduate student of mine left education for an entry-level position with a company providing product names. I worried that she was making a mistake forsaking what she had studied for many years for something for which she had no education or training. When I asked about the stability and value of the new work, she replied, “How hard can it be and I am encouraged by what ($) I can make.” When she told me how much she would be paid compared to what she was going to be paid as a preschool teacher, I congratulated her, wished her well, and asked her not to forget the “little people” who tried to help along the way. Over time, I often wondered which of the more than 24,000 extant prescribed and over-the-counter products she named.
A Few Popular Names for Internet Drug Searches
Adderall, Amitriptyline, Amlodipine, Amoxicillin, Ativan, Atorvastatin, Azithromycin, Benzonatate, Brilinta, Bunavail, Buprenorphine, Cephalexin, Ciprofloxacin, Citalopram, Clindamycin, Clonazepam, Cosyntex, Cyclobenzaprine, Cymbalta, Doxycycline, Dupixent, Entresto, Entyvio, Fartigas, Farxiga, Fentanyl, Gabapentin, Gilenya, Humira, Humpadumbo, Hydrochlorothiazide, Hydroxychloroquine, Ibuprofen, Imbruvica, Invokana, Januvia, Jardiance, Kevzara, Letonego, Lexapro, Lipothormide, Lisinopril, Lofexidine, Loratadine, Lyrica, Melatonin, Meloxicam, Metformin, Methadone, Methotrexate, Metoprolol, Naloxone, Naltrexone, Naproxen, Omeprazole, Onpattro, Opzelura, Otezla, Ozempic, Pantoprazole, Prednisone, Probuphine, Puity, Quviviq, Rinvoq, Rybelsus, Sublocade, Tramadol, Trazodone, Viagra, Vuity, Vyepti, Wellbutrin, Xanax, Yeikz, Zithromax, Zubsolv
Names into Activities
EVENING NEWS DRUGS WORD SEARCH
EVENING NEWS DRUGS HAIKU
Aspirin
by Anonymous
On the prilosec
A plain, blindly aspirin twists
the atorvastic
Medication
by Anonymous
On the prilosec
A plain, lonely aspirin dreams
of atorvastatin
Diarrhea
by Anonymous
Gloomy eventide
before diarrhea waits
betrayed by the gas
Diarrhea (Redux)
by Anonymous
Cheerless eventide
A mild, diarrhea waits
betrayed by the gas
Caveat Emptor
St. Joseph Low Dose Aspirin 81mg 120ct. $4-6 365ct. $12
Vazalore 81mg 30ct. $18
Vazalore provides the same benefits of aspirin in treating pain, inflammation, or fevers and preventing dangerous blood clots. Beyond price, it is unclear how it compares in other ways to “Doctor Recommended” St. Joseph Low Dose Aspirin. Of course, aspirin therapy is not right for everyone, so always talk to your doctor before starting or changing any aspirin regimen.
Words that Should Live in Infamy
It doesn’t matter if it works, as long as we keep selling it and they keep buying it.
