Golf Announcing for Dummies
I always struggled with the “what do you want to be when you grow up” question. My early life was a collection of “do this, don’t do that” advice that seldom matched what I wanted to do. When I told my parents that I wanted to be a professional ski instructor (skiing was something I did from an early age and was very good at), they talked about maybe becoming an undertaker because people are always dying and Frank Millspaugh “up in Jefferson Heights was making a very good living at it.”
We lived in a nice part of town, but it was not Jefferson Heights. Jefferson Heights was on the other side of the tracks where houses and yards were grand. Jefferson Heights was where the wealthier than us played golf. Prompted in part by watching tournament coverage of Chris Schenkel and Byron Nelson on ABC television’s Wide World of Sports and by spending a couple of wannabee weekends collecting 50 cents a bag as a caddy, I secretly trained for a career as a golf announcer often practicing stuff (see below) in my best golf-whisper voice that I heard on the broadcasts.
I don’t know, but I don’t think you need much training for this. For example, where I live, no matter what program you choose, you can get real-time onsite, online, or hybrid Creative School of Broadcasting (rebranded as CSB Make It up Arts Center) training from successful industry professionals whose entire mission is to get you career ready in just 8 or 16 weeks. And I don’t think you need this training for national broadcaster careers since many of the talking heads seem to have no qualifications other than wannabee or has-been experience in high school, college, or professional sports and a penchant for saying and not saying anything.
These Guys Can Turn a Phrase
…the energy around the country club has ramped up in the last twenty minutes…
…not everybody has the joy ride that you had with the putter…
…I’ve got a sneaky suspicion that he is going to win…
…lo and behold, that’s another good one for Scottie…
…he certainly found his putter…
…that was a little spongy…
…he never talks to his ball, he never needs to…
…that’s a rare lip out right there…
…looks like he went for the chunk and run…
…that was literally an eyelash away from being a very good shot…
…momentum is such a big word…
...he’s a wizard with the big stick and the wedge…
...oh, look how that peeled off…
…by far the worst shot of the tournament for him so far…
…tough conditions, you’re throwing the ball up in the air and all of the sudden, it’s gone…
…he can hit it below the earth’s surface if he needs to…
...cheese and crackers, that ball is taking the scenic route to the cup…
...clearly knocked the cream cheese out of that ball…
…this one is inside 30 feet…I would say more like a 28 footer…
…down the fairway we go now where has that gone…
…we don’t know how much precipitation we’re going to get…
…that ball scared the hole as it went by…
…his putter was a little bit lukewarm yesterday…
…he had to stand and watch as his ball decided what to do…
…he is putting well but not making many putts...
…so many people were following that group, the fairway literally tilted…
…we heard the gentle thud of that ball landing very near to us…
…putter back…ball rolling…
…and that is roasted…
…sometimes the ball just refuses to do what you ask…
…I don’t think he wants a comfortable playing partner…
…just a whisker of wind moving his trousers…
…that was a good looking roll…
…you can’t see it clearly because we’re on the …
…out of the left rough, you would expect that ball to jump a little…
…that took some guts to put the putter out there…
…this ball trying to climb up on the putting surface…
…we’ve seen a bunch of lip outs today…
...that will want to go to the right…
...so fun to watch this…
…the putter let him down…
…her ball striking has improved…
…it’s very intimate back there deep in the woods…
…there’s really nowhere better to land a golf ball…
…ball striking is just not an issue for him today…
…I am unreasonably excited about his chances…
...it is going to get bouncy out there…
…that one is bounding down the fairway, look at him go…
…yes, I do. I absolutely do…
…he can hit it below the earth’s surface if he needs to…
…you can’t make this up, it’s a dream sequence at the 18th…
