Coachspeak

We are in a world where talk trumps data. People with nothing to say make a living saying nothing at all. This is no more evident than in the drivel of highly paid college and professional coaches. This stuff and those who pass it on and those who repeat it are laughable.

Massive Outpourings of Nothing

It starts up front…that’s the backbone of our team.

I do not believe we played as badly as the score suggested.

Staff is doing a great job clearing the runway for when he takes over the ship…

We are getting good shots. We just haven’t been making them.^[1]Why is this worth revealing?

I say all of that to say…

His arm is attached to his feet.

I have to go back and look at the tape.

He was on the verge of emotion.

I think he’s all-pro type of good…I really do.

We are built very pragmatically.

He has tremendous knee bend for a guy his size.

I say that to say…

I believe a team is ready to win when it is ready to win.

He has a ceiling that is other-worldly.

I think the thing with this is this.

At times these guys have not looked like themselves lately.

We are experiencing clichés, mixed messages, and conflicting conversations.

Trying to avoid the constant outpouring of outrage, doom, and gloom.

We are seeing a terrifying level of ignorance and ignominy and mistrust of science.

I really do believe I’m 98% sure I think we thought we had it.

We have to do better. My daughters are at the game. My son is on the sideline…

Football is the ultimate team game. That’s why we pay the quarterback so much money.

They have the ability to beat themselves.

You’ve got young assets.

The quarterback is the most important person on the team.

Defense wins championships.

I am pretty pumped about how this draft is going to play out.^[2]WTF

He is getting more aggressive; he’s playing with aggression.

I am comfortable losing being wrong.

How I coach is to steal from everybody and make it your own.

At end of season, it’s been lost how good he was for two and half games.

Here’s my analytical analysis.

When you care about the team, it is not about you.

He may have the fastest 10s of anybody who will be here.

We had four unbelievable bigs, but they were big-bigs.

I can’t tell you how much he has impressed me.

He’s got a hose for an arm.

He was otherworldly from deep.

He’s got a gigantic chip on his shoulder.

He’s got bouncy feet.

He’s got a live arm.

I am beyond excited to watch him play.

He walks on the field, and you hear an audible roar.

He’s a very good quarterback when he’s not on the field.

When he’s out there, the guys play.^[3]Ed: Makes the team sound like a pack of children. Me: I know.

We repeatedly make the wrong mistakes.

Leadership is not about finding the next window dressing.

We’re going to give him the opportunity to show what he can do.^[4]He’s been on the team all season and has done nothing at all. Where have you been, coach?

His off-season performance was outstanding, but his fake energy is distracting.

He has great speed to the perimeter. He’s the quickest guy we have to the out-of-bounds.

What do you think of the “transfer portal?” If it benefits them, I don’t like it. If benefits me, I love it.

What do you think of the “transfer portal?” I am against it because it gives kids an easy way out if they’re met with a little bit of diversity on the other hand, if we can add guys like we just got, I’m for it.

We’re in the top quartile of the top quartile. This is not rocket science what we do here.

He’s a great guy to have in the locker room.

We are grappling for straws while others grasp for them.

I’ll know more after I look at the tape…a few times.

He plays bigger than he is. Nothing from the past carries over to the future. He’s a pro’s pro. I don’t know if I’ve ever been around a tougher guy. He’s a guy who is comfortable being uncomfortable. You are only as good as your personnel.

Most Coaches Don’t Know Why They Win or Lose

College coaches almost always fail in the NFL. They treat the job as an opportunity to appear collegiate (e.g., mouth breathing intensive questioning sideline countenance, praise v. performance) and treat every moment like it is a quantum physics exam or deeper problem to be solved. Walking the sidelines inspecting and acting like they are controlling something.

NFL is not a copycat league but talking about it has become a copycat profession (e.g., look-alike, stand-alike, loudly laugh-alike talking head teams).

Coach, we talk about this all the time. Football is football and soccer is soccer in America but soccer is football in the rest of the world. What do you think of that? I think you are an idiot for wasting time and words talking about this all the time.

Coaching grown men who have been pampered, tampered, and seldom hampered or dampered all their lives and who are not going to listen or be taught by an overpaid used car salesmen who overpromises and underdelivers is really hard work.

How does a first round draft choice injured in first game and out for the season have a lot of upside?

Enter the transfer portal has replaced transfer.

Optics

It is the most critical […] of her career which bring about conversating with predictions.^[5]Why? Apparently, reporting and just being a reporter is boring.

It is easier to beg forgiveness than it is to get permission, especially when you are profiting wildly like Facebook, Uber, Twitter, and so on.

League play-in tournament should be called league pay-in tournament.

League playoff tournament should be called league payoff tournament.

Posturing is wannabee, look at me, hoping for the selfie.

Offense stinks-we need to be a defensive team. Defense wins championships. Quarterback is highest paid player.

You don’t think as much of him as you thought you do.

Passing game stinks-we need to run the ball. Quarterback is highest paid player.

We would never have known this had it not come out.

We would never have noticed this had it not come out.

They didn’t work with actual receivers but they looked fantastic this morning.

A great quarterback can make an ordinary receiver look extraordinary. A bad quarterback can make an extraordinary receiver look ordinary. You don’t make a bad quarterback better by surrounding him with extraordinary receivers. The best always succeeds with who he has and the worst always fails in need of weapons.